My boys are big fans of the garbage truck.
You know how Kayne loves Kanye? That’s basically how my boys feel about the garbage truck.
The garbage truck is king.
The garbage truck is the centre of the universe.
Now, I always imagined what we would do if we come across their one true love in the flesh.
I imagined it would be as follows:
3. Move on with our day.
But that’s not how kids work, you guys. That’s not how Kanye loves Kanye.
When you meet your idol you gotta go all in. You don’t just wave and look.
So today, when the garbage truck passed us on the streets, I did what any sane mother would do for her kids, I chased that sucker through our entire neighbourhood while hauling my kids behind me in their wagon.
You should know, I was a track and field superstar ages 11-13. I had participation medals plastered all over my walls.
But chasing a garbage truck in the dead of winter is an entirely different ball game, guys. It’s no basic track and field meet.
First of all, the trail of smells made me gag. Hard. And as I was gagging the cold winter air was literally setting my lungs on fire.
As I gasped for stinky, cold air I continued to press on, hopping over puddles, dragging 50 pounds, maybe 55 – there were full diapers – of impatient and ecstatic little boys in a not-exactly all terrain little red wagon behind me.
Finally, FINALLY, after brute force and determination, we caught up to the darn garbage truck.
And wanna know what my boys did?
They did nothing.
They stood frozen in stardom.
They hardly made eye contact with the big, beautiful stinky beast before them.
And I nearly lost a lung.
Now, we’re back home. I’ve only thrown up once from overexertion and my boys haven’t stopped talking about the garbage truck we chased down this morning.
So, if you live in my neighbourhood and saw a lady in a big red coat running wild with a little red wagon behind her, that was me just trying to catch the garbage truck.